I've been trying to figure out gift subscriptions for some time. I didn't know we could do that. If you want to send me their email, I can sign them up. Not the same as a gift, but they will get the newsletter.
Wow...8 years ago yesterday I took my wife to the emergency room, she too had survived an ungodly amount of chemo. We thought for an overnight but she never returned home and died three weeks later. We also had the Buffalo experience, but we drove 6 hours in the snow to get there only to be told the doctor we were there to see couldn't get in that day. So graduation time, end of June brings up some ghosts for me as well, thanks for your story and best to your wife and continued good fortune with the horrible disease. Thanks for the writing, I look forward to your article everyday!
There are so very many with a story similar to yours & Ken's. I had an aunt (who I never knew) who had ovarian cancer almost a hundred years ago - at that time it was a death sentence. My son had throat cancer about 15 years ago & went thru chemo and radiation - came thru it & is done with yearly checkups pertaining to it, but there are after effects.
Somehow the importance of families who have dealt and are dealing with these tragedies - whether a patient had successfully come thru it or not - sure does make even more clear exactly how petty & unimportant the current individuals truly are that want to be in charge of our government and our lives. The current SC "decisions" make that clearer than ever.
God bless both you and Gillian. Watching someone you love go through those treatments is emotionally painful and of course her struggles can't be measured or described.
First, and most importantly, Gillian's resolve and your shared goal of enjoying life is commendable and beautiful.
Second, Bret Stephens of the infamous NYTimes bedbug provost email fiasco? Trump wouldn't use Elise because of her weight? Harsh, but he had no problem using her for years and the interesting thing is, if she were chosen, we would all know Trump would confidently point that flaw out to her in order to make her more compliant, and she would still accept, right?
In another life back in Ohio, I was one of the facilitators for our local hospital’s educational and support program for cancer patients and their support network: “I Can Cope” (American Cancer Society).
My session was on “Self-Esteem and Human Sexuality.” One of the points I emphasized was that the patient/survivor try to develop the mindset, “I am not dying of cancer, but living with it.”
Sounds like Gillian has been “practicing” what I was “preaching.”
I send you and your wife my best wishes and support. I know the sword hanging over your heads very well, my daughter has been living with stage 4 colon cancer for almost 5 years. I would not wish it on anyone, and my utmost sympathy to all the people who have lost loved ones to this horrible disease.
This is a rather long thing to read, but it’s something my daughter posted (not sure who the original author was) about what cancer is like. For those of you lucky enough to not have had it enter your life, be thankful.
“What’s it like to go through cancer treatment? It’s something like this:
One day, you’re minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE’S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE.
Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST!
So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear. Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they’re cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion - “GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU” - and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming.
Also, for some reason, there’s someone in the crowd who’s yelling “that’s not really a mountain lion, it’s a puma” and another person yelling “I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?”
As you’re running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy - they’re half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself - why couldn’t I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that - and besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one?
Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you - maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my husband - comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming “GODDAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE,” and the mountain lion punches your husband right in the face. Now your husband (or whatever) is rolling around on the ground clutching his nose, and he’s bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain.
Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your husband in the face. And your husband is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying “can I get some help, I’ve been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken,” and all you can say is “I’M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED I’M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION.”
Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead.
Maybe. You’re not sure - it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment.
And all your friends come running up to you and say “that was amazing! You’re so brave, we’re so proud of you! You didn’t die! That must be a huge relief!”
Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you’re having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says “boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!” And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is “f*ck this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place.”
moving, real, honest, inspiring in terms of how to live one's life fully as long as we can, for as long as we can. Thank you. My sister died 18 years ago of ovarian cancer...it is a hard one, ovarian cancer.
FYI- Tried to give a free gift subscription using the link you provided in an email, but it brought me to the payment page.
I've been trying to figure out gift subscriptions for some time. I didn't know we could do that. If you want to send me their email, I can sign them up. Not the same as a gift, but they will get the newsletter.
Wow...8 years ago yesterday I took my wife to the emergency room, she too had survived an ungodly amount of chemo. We thought for an overnight but she never returned home and died three weeks later. We also had the Buffalo experience, but we drove 6 hours in the snow to get there only to be told the doctor we were there to see couldn't get in that day. So graduation time, end of June brings up some ghosts for me as well, thanks for your story and best to your wife and continued good fortune with the horrible disease. Thanks for the writing, I look forward to your article everyday!
There are so very many with a story similar to yours & Ken's. I had an aunt (who I never knew) who had ovarian cancer almost a hundred years ago - at that time it was a death sentence. My son had throat cancer about 15 years ago & went thru chemo and radiation - came thru it & is done with yearly checkups pertaining to it, but there are after effects.
Somehow the importance of families who have dealt and are dealing with these tragedies - whether a patient had successfully come thru it or not - sure does make even more clear exactly how petty & unimportant the current individuals truly are that want to be in charge of our government and our lives. The current SC "decisions" make that clearer than ever.
I apologize for even hinting at the current mess.
I always thought Trump would kick her to the curb. If he really does, she deserves it.
Bless your wife, Ken. Having lived that experience with my love, it is remarkable how effortlessly strong some can be. 💕
Amazing and your wife give everyone hope.
May she continue on her path.
I stand by the saying, “just because someone carries it well, doesn’t mean it’s not heavy”
What a wonderful sentiment. Had not heard that one before.
Remarkable journey. Remarkable woman. May Gillian enjoy many more years of travel and memories.
Ken, stand by, I will have ooodles more Christmas for the Chapman very soon 🎄
Thank you Donna. It is greatly appreciated.
God bless both you and Gillian. Watching someone you love go through those treatments is emotionally painful and of course her struggles can't be measured or described.
Kudos to your wife. As for the VP bit, it's been an obvious pock on the choice of Ms. S. Then again, the former 1st Lady wouldn't feel threatened.
First, and most importantly, Gillian's resolve and your shared goal of enjoying life is commendable and beautiful.
Second, Bret Stephens of the infamous NYTimes bedbug provost email fiasco? Trump wouldn't use Elise because of her weight? Harsh, but he had no problem using her for years and the interesting thing is, if she were chosen, we would all know Trump would confidently point that flaw out to her in order to make her more compliant, and she would still accept, right?
She's remarkable and you and Joseph are indeed lucky men to have her in your life. Thanks for sharing.
Beautiful, Ken! Thanks for sharing!
In another life back in Ohio, I was one of the facilitators for our local hospital’s educational and support program for cancer patients and their support network: “I Can Cope” (American Cancer Society).
My session was on “Self-Esteem and Human Sexuality.” One of the points I emphasized was that the patient/survivor try to develop the mindset, “I am not dying of cancer, but living with it.”
Sounds like Gillian has been “practicing” what I was “preaching.”
I send you and your wife my best wishes and support. I know the sword hanging over your heads very well, my daughter has been living with stage 4 colon cancer for almost 5 years. I would not wish it on anyone, and my utmost sympathy to all the people who have lost loved ones to this horrible disease.
This is a rather long thing to read, but it’s something my daughter posted (not sure who the original author was) about what cancer is like. For those of you lucky enough to not have had it enter your life, be thankful.
“What’s it like to go through cancer treatment? It’s something like this:
One day, you’re minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE’S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE.
Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST!
So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear. Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they’re cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion - “GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU” - and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming.
Also, for some reason, there’s someone in the crowd who’s yelling “that’s not really a mountain lion, it’s a puma” and another person yelling “I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?”
As you’re running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy - they’re half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself - why couldn’t I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that - and besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one?
Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you - maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my husband - comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming “GODDAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE,” and the mountain lion punches your husband right in the face. Now your husband (or whatever) is rolling around on the ground clutching his nose, and he’s bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain.
Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your husband in the face. And your husband is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying “can I get some help, I’ve been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken,” and all you can say is “I’M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED I’M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION.”
Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead.
Maybe. You’re not sure - it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment.
And all your friends come running up to you and say “that was amazing! You’re so brave, we’re so proud of you! You didn’t die! That must be a huge relief!”
Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you’re having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says “boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!” And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is “f*ck this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place.”
moving, real, honest, inspiring in terms of how to live one's life fully as long as we can, for as long as we can. Thank you. My sister died 18 years ago of ovarian cancer...it is a hard one, ovarian cancer.
Thank you Ken. Gillian is a role model for us all.
I find myself crying as I read this piece. Thanks for sharing it with us, your profession is a gift to us all