30 Comments

Been where you are. “Just keep swimming.” Otherwise you drown. ✌️💕

Expand full comment

Thank you, Will. I am visiting my mom overseas for Mother'sDay. She has had Alzheimer’s for sometime. Mom is turning 92 in a few days. I noticed that her speech and physical strength have deteriorated significantly in the two years since I was able to visit her. Your detailed assessment of your daily struggles makes me want to be more compassionate towards my father who is cranky and bitter these days. They have live-in help but the emotional toll is palpable. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Appreciate your honesty, Will. Wish you both all the best.

Expand full comment

..."pinpricks of light in a dark sky..." -beautifully stated / ...whatever one is coping with: thank goodness for them...

Expand full comment

No one knows until it happens. It is the apotheosis of multitasking and of parallel loneliness.

Your writing touches the soul.

Expand full comment

I admire your honesty and your strength and your ability to communicate the reality of being the caregiver for a loved one with Alzheimer's. Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep nurturing yourself with the same love and care you give to Bella. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Expand full comment

Hi Will. I "share your pain".

My mother suffered through Alzheimers for year, before suffering a stroke that left her barely conscious for most of a year before she died, 12 yrs ago.

I am now the primary caregiver for my special-needs brother, who recently received a kidney transplant.

At least with my Mom, we were able to find a facility that specialized in Alzheimer care.

I have not found similar resources (yet) to help with my mother's care.

The responsibility frequently is overwhelming.

I'm not writing to complain, but to let you, and others, know that there are likely numerous people in you/my community who shoulder burdens like yours or mine every day.

If you know someone in a care-giving situation, please reach out to them, not once but repeatedly. Every time you can take one tiny task off their shoulders, they will feel like the weight of the world has been lifted.

I see you, Will, and I'm praying for your wife and for you.

Expand full comment

So much is about perception. This year is 34.8% warmer than “normal,” 86 heating degree days vs 132 for normal. Last year was colder with 151. But the variation from normal at this time of year when we tip between heating degree days and cooling degree days exaggerates the narrow differential. Sunshine makes all the difference.

Public bathrooms! Designing a public building intended to house the farmers market and public events (potentially wine and beer festivals for instance) without a bathroom earns this project a special place in the Museum of Municipal Boondoggles which I am planning and surely deserves $1 million in occupancy tax funding since a Warren County location is especially appropriate.

EDIT: MAY! Should be “this year May is 34.8% warmer than normal…”

Expand full comment

Besides being an amazing and thoughtful caretaker, you are an amazing, thoughtful, and expressive writer.

Expand full comment

You eloquently describe the journey no one wants but few don't undertake it to some degree. These words are maps for those behind you on the road and acknowledgement to those ahead. Thank you Will.

Expand full comment

My uncle did what you are doing for a few years for and with my aunt. As you do, he chose to be her caretaker. They lived in Calif. so I only got to see them once during this time. You make clear what that choice means and how much love and empathy come into it.

This truly is a horrible brutal disease and there needs to be more investigation & research for the people and the caregivers that must deal with it.

Expand full comment

Sorry - I should have said careGIVER! I apologize.

Expand full comment

Absolutely!

Expand full comment

My heart goes out to you Will and Bella. Thank you for your kindness and honesty.

Expand full comment

Hemingway described courage as grace under pressure. You write about your struggle with grace and therefore courage. I appreciate it.

I don't know you but love the Adirondacks and good journalism as you do (and practice it), so I feel kindred. I lost my sister at 70 and my mother at 92 to Alzheimer disease and at 83 I live in fear of it. Thank you for doing what you have to do for Bella and yourself, but also for us.

Lee Keet

Expand full comment

Your strength is amazing Will. Bella is very fortunate in this regard.

Expand full comment

The word "slogging" comes to mind and yet the way you write makes you seem almost super human with what you manage to accomplish, Will! I'm exhausted just reading about what you are living through, hour by hour and sadly, there is just no escape. I wish words from readers could do more for you because you are certainly trying to give us fair warning....we just have no idea what might be ahead for any of us.

Expand full comment

Well said Will. Thank you

Expand full comment