25 Comments

With all you have on your plate, I don’t know how you find time to break my heart with your writing. But you do, and I thank you for it.

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Hang in there. With all the love you can muster. All else doesn’t matter. ✌️

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Will wrote: "Her [Margaret Sullivan’s] column this week is about what has been called “sanewashing,” the translation by journalists of disturbing nonsense spouted by Trump into comprehensible thoughts and policies."

Here’s an excerpt of Sullivan’s piece on false balance:

"Editors and reporters, with a few exceptions, really don’t see the problem as they normalize Trump. Nor do they appear to listen to valid criticism. They may not even be aware of it, or may think, “well, when both sides are mad at us, we must be doing it right.” Maybe they simply fear being labeled liberal."

I have no real answer or explanation for this, just a few thoughts.

First, one has to accept that Trump is, in fact, an abnormal candidate for office (or at least see his abnormality as an issue.) And if you don’t, as seems to be the case for at least 45 percent of the American population, then there’s no outrageous behavior on Trump’s part for news outlets to report.

Second, the institution of journalism is largely a private, profit-making enterprise. Without advertisers and/or subscribers, there’s no news reporting. True, ideally there’s a "firewall" between reporters/editors and the business side. But as Rex Smith has said, ‘no margin, no mission’. How reporting is received by the public and the readership is an existential consideration. Engagement of readers/viewers in the news outlets’ content is vital to survival. Maybe it’s less a fear of being labeled ‘too liberal’ (that ship sailed a long time ago for the grey lady, at least for Republicans), but rather, a subconscious fear on the part of national news outlets of becoming irrelevant for half of the country.

Americans have always disagreed about public policy. What’s different about our politics today is that half the country disagrees about the value of abiding by election results. That half of the country accepts, to one degree or another, the use of threats of violence, or violence itself, to settle political differences.

These are existential times for both journalism and for the country itself.

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I agree your comment. Another problem is that in order to keep good writers and journalists continuing their work, we need to subscribe and pay for it. There are so many people on substack that I would like to support, but there isn't enough money to do so.

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❤️

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...heart-wrenching / the photograph is sad: and beautiful...

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Thank you Will, for sharing your REAL experiences with this horrific disease. It's so important for us to learn the various manifestations of the progression of this "killer". Again, thank you😘

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I too have been enraged by the Times' "equal treament" writing about an insane candiate and Harris. This is not reportng, and it is a disservice to the readers and calls into question the paper's alleged fairness.

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I’ve tremendous respect for you Will. Your dedication to your wife is exceeded by your undying love for her. For better for worse are the words you live by. I def read the frustration in your words which is totally understandable. This disease is cruel, heartless, and exhausting to the patient and the caretaker.

My hope is that you meet in a support group with other caretakers who share similar lifestyle changes. If not, as a colleague and friend, I’m always available for a coffee or a walk with our doggies. The sun is out today, Yesterday’s rain storm has passed. Perhaps Bella’s storm has passed for a bit. Hope you both have a good day.😉🥰🙏

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You are well aware of the phrase...."patience is a virtue....that is vastly overrated." It is so hard to read what you write about your life with Bella, Will, and try to imagine being in that same situation. How did you manage to become so reasonable, thoughtful, understanding, forgiving, and just on and on. I'm not sure how many of us could keep our own sanity in any kind of reasonable shape. You are holding on tight to the Bella of past times but it sounds....exhausting. I'm glad you wrote about anger....at life, for this situation! How could it NOT be there and the struggle to overcome it is what makes you so incredible Will. You manage, over and over, to do just that, and go on.

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Agreed. The caregiver formula seems to be a combination of reassurance, affection, trying as best you can to avoid the actions/comments you believe will trigger an angry response, knowing it will be the unexpected that provides the challenges, having the resilience of teflon, lots of patience and as you suggest the realization that it isn't the marriage partner of the past but still needs to be the recipient of unconditional love even if it often is not reciprocated. Thanks for posting the accounts of your experiences in this journey. Those travelling the same path feel the pain and find a measure of support. Could really identify with your Boston streets piece and experience. Thanks a whole bunch, Will.

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I read Rex Smith for the reasons you mention--in his recent column he moves to the incredible denial of the climate crisis, about what we do not see and do not want to see. I stopped my subscription to the New York Times for the reasons you express so clearly. And I find Heather Cox Richardson's "Letters" so meaningful in terms of our history and all that is going on with the Christian Nationalists,Trump's extreme and dangerous rhetoric, and, the silence of so many Republicans. (I never can understand how she does so much everyday to inform and enlighten.) And then I read your column, Will, because you capture so honestly and with such heart your own struggles to be kind and patient and loving (as well as your close looking at nature and at corruption with Patten). And I read Ken Tingley for his clear look at Stefanik and her lies...Just to say, I appreciate honesty, integrity, caring, and good work by so many people in our world. Thank you

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Heather also has videos on UTube (or online, if that is more convenient) they are also really good and informational. Plus Joyce Vance with Civil Discourse (substack). Lots of good writing and information out there - just not, it seems, in the "main stream media"!

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❤️‍🩹

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When I read about Bella, it makes me sad, and I thought today what are the odds that two of my colleagues at DVP would come down with early Alzheimer's. Both women were the smartest and, in many ways, had similar backgrounds. Pat Ferraioli taught Political Theory at Skidmore College before coming to DVP and even though working with victims of domestic violence was just a small part of her working life, her life was cut short due to early onset of Alzheimer's in her 50's. Both of these women had the same position for about the same number of years. The difference is Pat did not have you Will who is allowing Bella many more years in a home where she made memories in before this retched disease took hold of her. Thank you once more for caring for an incredible human being who I admired a lot.

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Will,

So good to see you today and to meet Bella. I wanted to share with you that your column today, adjusting and taking care of the myriad of challenges which you and Bella are living with due to her Alzheimer’s, was extraordinary! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I am sure your experiences will mean so much to others.

Barbara

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You cannot describe the frustration and even horror of feeling a brilliant person slip away. I still found, in spite of the frustration, I couldn’t get mad, but mine wasn’t as far along as yours. Just always find her hand. Physical touch will help both of you. Best to you and Bella

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Bella has her own fashion style - I like the rainbow sweater with the shocking pink underthings. Her expression is somehow still spirited. I'm so happy you take her hand.

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