Remembering `absent friends’ began with Red Smith

Audubon Society ban of dogs and horses leaves me scratching my head

By Ken Tingley

Sometime during those early days as a sportswriter I was told that to be a good writer, you had to read good writing.

It was good advice and for anyone wanting to be a sportswriter that meant reading Red Smith.

While his name was ordinary, his writing was not. He plied his trade on the sports beats at a variety of New York City newspapers and in 1976 he became the second sportswriter to be honored with a Pulitzer Prize for commentary.

When someone asked him about his secret to writing he replied, "Writing is easy. You just open a vein and bleed.”

That stayed with me.

My interpretation was you had to bring an honesty to your writing, and you had to reveal a little bit of yourself, too.

You can’t fake that.

Sometime during the 1980s, I picked up a copy of Red Smith’s book “To Absent Friends.” It was a collection of 183 columns about the passing of sports figures known and unknown.

It introduced me to the obituary column and the importance of putting a life in perspective. That’s a big responsibility.

I devoured the book.

The accounts were spare, forgiving and honest about  players and coaches he had known and written about.

As a young writer, there were few subjects you knew that well. But as I grew older, I found a brief encounter, a short anecdote was often enough to show the essence of a person and the life they lived.

Those columns were often the most difficult to write, and the most emotional, but they also could touch readers like few others.

When my father died on a dark December evening in 2001, I spent a sleepless night typing and crying as I tried to capture the essence of the man who raised me.

“A life lived well” was a message to my 5-year-old son about the grandfather he would never get to know. I struggled through the eulogy a few days later, but I don’t think it measured up to the words I wrote.

Each passing year has brought more opportunities to celebrate the life of someone I knew briefly or closely. I take that responsibility seriously.

My second collection of columns is coming out soon and includes several tributes “to absent friends” including my father and two of my friends from high school. Another is about another is about a player I only saw play in high school.

Those writings are special to me.

I think you will find them special as well.

I joined Red Smith in the sportswriter ranks in 1979. He was still writing his column in 1982 when he announced he was cutting back to three times a week. He hoped it would improve the quality as he aged.

Four days later, he died of heart failure.

That stayed with me as well. It also might be why I feel the need to write in retirement. It’s another reason why I am publishing a second collection of columns.

Touching a nerve

My column on Friday seemed to touch a nerve in “The Front Page” community.

The column called out the Warren County Conservative Party for not living up to its values in practice because it continues to support candidates like Rep. Elise Stefanik.

It spawned over 90 comments - the most I can remember on any of my Substack columns - and a lively discussion.

I hope it encourages politicians everywhere that regular voters and citizens are sick and tired of their games and want elected officials who do the right thing.

No horses?

We were visiting my brother in Connecticut this weekend and he took us to visit the Connecticut Audubon Society sanctuary along shore of Long Island Sound in Milford.

It was a nice spot with a small museum that was oddly closed on a Saturday afternoon in August. The spit of land is squeezed in between a fresh water marsh on one side and the ocean on the other. Apparently, this is a great spot for birds to nest.

From the platform overlooking the marsh, we could see some nesting Ospreys.

As we walked toward the beach, we noticed a sign that read, “For the protection of our wildlife, the following are not permitted…” The first line listed dogs and horses.

That seemed unusual.

Further signage explained that even leashed dogs can disturb nesting birds and keep them away from caring for their young.

That made sense. But I wondered about the horses.

This oasis of wetlands was wedged in between some very nice beach-front homes on both sides. I wondered if wild horses were regularly wandering through urban areas of southern Connecticut.

As we prepared to leave, I was startled by a movement from out of the woods. It was a deer, then another and finally a third.

I wondered how come they were not listed on the sign. We never did see any horses.

Back to Saratoga

There was a time before I retired when I tried to visit the racetrack in Saratoga at least once a week during the summer.

I’ve always found the racetrack relaxing.

I can sit alone with the Daily Racing Form crunching numbers in hopes of winning a few dollars.

I made it to the track once last year and this past week was my first time this year.

The admission price is now up to $10, but that there is no longer a separate clubhouse admission so fans can wander as close to the finish line as they want.

It was an enjoyable day.

It was nice to be back. Of course, hitting three exactas certainly did not hurt.

Vol. 2 is coming

Something or Other Publishing made it official last week with the announcement that it was taking preorders for my second collection of columns.

There are 90 more columns about the people and events of the past two decades.

Hope you get a chance to check them out.