Living life like you are running out of time

Stefanik part of bipartisan effort to avert debt ceiling crisis

By Ken Tingley

The events of this past week have left me feeling shaken and vulnerable.

That’s what a death in the family does to you, especially when you are 66. Just writing that number is disconcerting. Since retiring - nearly three years ago - I have settled into my third act with writing at its core.

I’ve written nearly 400 of these columns for my “The Front Page” newsletter.

Two books have been published and another one is coming.

I’m even toying around with a play.

I’ve been feeling good about my life, its direction and my future.

We’ve put the pandemic behind us and normalcy is returning.

But the death of my sister-in-law last week at age 67 has left me shaken. No one would have guessed she was that old. She was vibrant and alive and despite some recent surgeries, the picture of health. My wife and I both believed she would outlive us all.

I had my own health scare a year or so ago. There was major surgery - the robotic kind - and I recovered quickly and was back working and playing basketball quickly.

My joints still ache after basketball at the YMCA, but I’m out there holding my own with guys half my age. I believe basketball keeps me not only fit, but young at heart.

There is part of me that felt indestructible, bullet-proof form  maladies of old age that others face.

But the death of Josephine last week proved nothing is guaranteed.

And that the unexpected can happen at any time.

While my affairs are generally in order, they could be a little more organized.

I have too much stuff and need to work on downsizing further.

For some time, I’ve remained focused on the writing.

I’ve finished another book of columns.

There is research that is half-completed for a book on the my parents’ romance.

My wife is concerned I am working too hard in retirement.

My sister-in-law told me I didn’t really retire so much as change jobs.

There is this song in the musical Hamilton - “Non-Stop” - where I see myself:

Hamilton’s wife Eliza is questioning why he is working so hard writing 51 of the 85 Federalist papers and she sings:

Why do you write like your running out of time?

Write day and night like you’re running out of time.

I also feel like I am running out of time.

Time is no longer the luxury it once was. I hope to live a full a productive life for the foreseeable future. But so did Josephine.

I often say offhand, none of us really believes we are going to die and there is part of me that believes that.

During her first round of chemo 12 years ago, my wife told me she wanted to go to Ireland when she was done. I’m sure part of her believed it might be her last trip.

But it wasn’t.

We went to Ireland that fall, then to Italy, then Rome, Switzerland, Scotland,  England, Belfast, Austria and Germany.

We were going to live each day to the fullest.

We were not going to wait.

We were not going to lament wasted opportunities.

We were living life like we were running out of time, which is true for all of us.

The cataclysmic events this past week reminded me of that.

But it also had me questioning my priorities and whether I’m spending enough time with the people I love. As we said our farewells to Josephine, I thought about that as well. I thought about it a lot.

It’s something we all should think about.

Stefanik vote

Rep. Elise Stefanik was one of 149 Republicans to vote for the Fiscal Responsibility Act in the House of Representatives this week. Seventy-one Republicans and 46 Democrats - most representing the extremes of their party - voted against.

The 314-117 vote tapped the brakes on spending for the next two years, although one of the provisions that Republicans insisted upon actually raised the figure.

The final breakdown showed 149 Republicans and 165 Democrats vote for the bill. the Congressional. Budget Office estimates the spending restrictions will save $1.5 trillion over the next decade.

It could have been a little more, but Republican’s insistence on work requirements on older Americans receiving food stamps would end up increasing spending by $2.1 billion over the next decade because the final deal exempted veterans and homeless people and would add 78,000 to the food stamp rolls.

Anytime Congress can curb spending, it is a good thing. The fact that the two sides actually seemed to agree on something seems monumental for recent times.

Library attendance

As expected, there were some people who protested the recent event at the Rockwell Falls Library who had never been there before. If that leads to an increase in library attendance and maybe reading in general, it will be an unexpected benefit, but that’s probably not the case.

As I wrote previously, I expect the library will be ground zero for future controversy and it wont be long before there are arguments over which books are appropriate.

No funeral like it

While planning my sister-in-law’s funeral this past week, we returned over and over to her love of Hawaii.

A little research revealed Hawaiians often celebrate the lives of the departed with an “Aloha” funeral. People dress in flowered shirts and dresses and wear flowered leis.

We requested family and friends to honor our Jo that way. As I stood in the church preparing to deliver the eulogy, I looked out over a sea of color in the the filled pews. They had delivered.

To my right the two priests were wearing bright flowered leis as well.

Jo would have loved it.

As we left the church, the old Hawaiian love song - “Aloha `Oe” played.

It is our wish that in the weeks, months and years to come, those who were there, those that new and loved Jo will remember her funeral as the best there ever was and remember her fondly.