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Irene Baldwin's avatar

When I buried my parents several months apart a few years back I learned more than I ever wanted to know about funerals. Down in Philly, where they were from, a basic funeral was well over $10,000. That was without a hearse (people apparently don't do hearses any more) or a wake in the funeral parlor. Or the funeral lunch of course. If you need to buy a plot and headstone, add that on, too. I've heard of budget cremations as low as $3500, but I was pretty shocked overall at funeral expenses. And if someone is in nursing care, all of their money might be depleted by the time they pass, so those preplanning funeral accounts are important; you can set aside a certain amount that Medicaid won't claw back.

The other thing is, money gets locked down in the estate when someone dies. My Dad went first, and he and Mom owned everything jointly, including bank accounts, so the money was not an issue, But when Mom passed, her bank account froze. I had POA while she was alive and knew Mom wasn't going to be with us long so I moved $10,000 into a funeral account a few months before her death. I then moved more money right before she died to pay bills I didn't want to wait two years to pay while they wound down her (very) little estate; like money owed to her caregivers.

All of that is TMI, but I was shocked at how expensive it is to die. I have made no plans for myself,, but I do now have $100 per paycheck go into a set aside bank account I think of as a funeral account. Once that is big enough, I'll put it into a prepaid funeral account.

I found social security to be one of the easiest to deal with. (Verizon Wireless is still trying to bill me for my dead Dad's cell phone; Verizon was hands down the worst of them). I activated the online social security accounts for Mom and Dad (mysocialsecurity) and just did everything through that.

Sorry you are dealing with all of this.

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Al Bellenchia's avatar

The United States, in many ways, is inhumane to the living and the deceased. I was corresponding with a friend recently and she told that she and her husband plan to move to out of the States while healthy because she wanted to die with dignity. She is not poor, but her experiences with her parents’ end of life care has disgusted her.

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