`Get me back in’

Memories of a forlorn Christmas from 19 years ago

The Front Page

Morning Update

Friday, December 24, 2021

By Ken Tingley

Nineteen years ago today, I found myself nestled in a cozy living room in Hudson Falls with a family too sad to find anything merry about the next day’s Christmas. This is one of several Christmas stories from “The Last American Editor.”

May you all have the best Christmas ever.

`Get me back in’

December 26, 2002

HUDSON FALLS

There was such a sadness in Cindy Feulner's eyes, you never, ever would have guessed it was Christmas Eve.

She had curled herself into the corner of the living room couch of her modest two-story Hudson Falls home with the beautiful antique woodwork. She slouched up against a pillow with her legs tucked comfortably underneath her. Her husband Ed sat on the floor a few feet away, her 10-year-old son - Ed's stepson - Keith sat next to him, but Cindy never took her eyes off Ed. It was as if she was trying to draw in every bit of the warmth and safety of his presence, inhale it, embrace it and never let it go.

Ed had just been asked why.

Why was he leaving for the Persian Gulf the day after Christmas? Why after almost five years out of Naval Reserve duty had he had re-enlisted after 9/11? Why had he transferred out of his Glens Falls unit to another unit in Connecticut that almost certainly would be called to active duty to do patrol boat duty as security for the Naval fleet if things got hot in the Middle East? Cindy seemed to need to hear the reasons again - for comfort.

This wasn't a political debate anymore, this was her husband going off voluntarily to a potential war.

"It's going to be hard tonight and then on Christmas," said Ed. "The last night sleeping together will be the worst. Cindy never cries, but I can see her eyes getting watery right now."

Cindy nestled deeper into the safety of the couch never once taking her eyes off of Ed.

Ed Feulner is a 33-year-old Galway native. He works the third shift at a packaging plant in Scotia as a machine operator. He says he loves his job. He served three years in the Navy after high school graduation. He was part of Operation Desert Storm. He then did another six years in the Reserves. He married Cindy five years ago, right about the time he was getting out.

"Ed's the type of person who likes to help people," said Cindy. "He probably has stopped 50 times on the Northway to help someone on the side of the road."

Oddly, that's where this all started.

Ed had finished work and was heading home on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, when he saw a truck broken down on the side of the road. Ed lent the driver his half-ton jack and got him on his way again. When he got back in his truck, the news was just breaking about the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center.

"I was angry after 9/11," said Ed.

Nothing new there. There weren't many Americans that weren't. Only Ed did something about it.

"Ed is a doer," said Cindy.

"The next day I called up the recruiter in Glens Falls and said, 'Get me back in,'" said Ed. On Oct. 24, 2001, he was sworn back into the Reserves. "I wanted to get over there then and there.

About six months ago, Ed decided he wanted to switch to a Reserve unit in Connecticut that would almost certainly be called to active duty if there was a war. He talked it over with Cindy first. She refused to stand in his way.

"My main concern was if they were taken care of financially and if they were ready mentally," said Ed. "I know what it will be like to be away a long time. I've experienced that before. This is her first experience. I know it will be tough for Cindy."

Although they work opposite shifts, both live for their weekends together. "I don't think there's been a weekend we've been apart since we got married," said Ed. On this day, both are even dressed alike wearing jeans and gray sweatshirts.

In November, Ed got orders that his unit was being called to active duty and that they would be going somewhere in the Persian Gulf. Ed was told they would leave before Christmas. He was also told he might be away as long as a year.

Keith, Ed's 10-year-old stepson, took it hard. "He put on his Christmas list this year for Ed to stay," said Cindy.

Later, the orders were changed. Ed was to leave the day after Christmas - today.

"I can say that I don't want him to go," said Cindy. "But I know he has to go. I wasn't going to stop him from following his dreams because of my own selfishness."

"Why?" came the voice next to Ed.

It was 10-year-old Keith.

And there was quiet again. A day earlier he had asked Ed again why he had to go. Ed tried hard to explain again, but obviously without much impact.

"It hurts me inside," said Ed.

Then Ed gives Keith the speech about stepping up and being the man of the house while he's away and not giving his mom any trouble. Maybe the pep talk is for Cindy too. Neither one looks any happier.

"He does things for everyone," said Cindy about Ed. "This is a way he can do something for his country."

This afternoon, Ed's parents, Alan and Liz, will drive Cindy, Keith and Ed to the airport in Albany.

Ed says he's feeling excitement, worry, fear and certainly a sense of dread at the impending goodbyes.

"I'm a wimp at goodbyes," said Ed.

"There's pride, but there's fear at the same time," said Cindy.

There is quiet again in cozy living room. They all know the time is growing short and there is little left to say. Finally, Ed speaks up, "Something like this makes you realize what you have."

And maybe that's the best reason of all why Ed Feulner has to go.

Over on the couch, Cindy's gaze never wavers.

P.S.

The roots of this story started at a Christmas party that year where I met Ed and Cindy and learned he was about to deploy to the Mideast. Newspaper editors are never off duty. On Christmas Eve, I interviewed them in their living room. Ed talked about how tough it was going to be because he was away from his family. He said he wished he had a laptop so he could better communicate with Cindy and Keith.

After the interview, I went into work and asked Publisher Jim Marshall if we could give Ed and Cindy one of the newsroom laptops. He agreed and I dropped it off at their house with a hearty “Merry Christmas.”

Ed went on to do three deployments with the Navy in the Mideast and retired in 2018.  Ed and Cindy  still live in Hudson Falls, N.Y. In 2014, they became grandparents when 22-year-old Keith had a baby girl. They now have two grandchildren.